Avoidance in OCD – Sound Familiar?
Alex came to session and was delighted to share with me,“OCD hasn’t been as bad this week!”
Fantastic news, I thought, “What do you think helped you manage your OCD this week?”
“Well, I’ve stopped watching Love Island and I’ve not been on Instagram as much. But that’s okay, I can easily live my life without those things.”
Ah. There it was. Avoidance. Avoidance in OCD can sometimes feel like a quick fix to reduce anxiety, but it’s often a way of managing intrusive thoughts that ultimately keeps OCD going.
This was all too familiar for Alex. It was the same last month when they were avoiding being in the kitchen.
“What’s the big deal?” they ask. “So what if I’m watching different TV shows? As long as I’m feeling better, isn’t that what matters?”
But what I want for Alex is for them to live their life based on their own values, choices, and dislikes. Not for thier life to be dictated by anxiety or OCD avoidance.
What Is Avoidance in OCD and How Does It Affect You?
Avoidance can make you feel better in the short term because you’re trying to reduce intrusive experiences or anxiety. Sometimes avoidance is just about not wanting to have these experiences.
This might sound like:
- “I just can’t face setting off my OCD today.”
- “I’m not feeling 100% today, I’ll just avoid a little bit”
Sometimes avoidance happens as a more direct compulsion, because OCD convinces you something bad will happen if you don’t avoid certain triggers.
This might sound like:
- “What if having the thoughts means something?”
- “What if getting the thoughts causes something bad to happen?”
- “What if the anxiety sends me mad?”
- “What if I lose control and do something because of the urge?”
- “What if this OCD theme sticks and never goes away?”
Common Examples of Avoidance Behaviors in OCD
Many people with OCD avoid specific triggers across different themes, such as:
- Avoiding TV shows, articles, or discussions related to their OCD theme
- Avoiding certain people, places, or activities
Harm OCD
- Avoiding sharp objects like knives
- Avoiding activities like cooking, gardening, or lifting weights
Relationship OCD (ROCD)
- Avoiding intimacy
- Avoiding people they find attractive
Pedophilia OCD (POCD)
- Avoiding spending time with loved ones
- Avoiding walking past schools
Contamination OCD
- Reducing liquid intake to avoid needing the toilet
- Avoiding certain places
(For further examples, read more about types of OCD here – link coming soon)
Why Avoidance Is Problematic for OCD Recovery
When you have OCD, your brain’s threat detection system reacts strongly to intrusive thoughts, sending alarm signals: “DANGER! This is important! You’re in danger! Don’t go near that!”
Naturally, avoidance seems to make sense: stay away to prevent the headache of OCD spirals and the mental gymnastics of trying to get it all figured out.
But by avoiding, we teach the threat brain that the intrusions are relevant, real and important warning signs of real danger; reinforcing the fear:
“Phew! I just saved myself from imminent danger.”
How Avoidance Maintains OCD and Blocks Recovery: The OCD Backfire
- It keeps the fear alive
Avoiding places, people, or situations shows the brain that the intrusive thoughts are meaningful and dangerous, maintaining the fear instead of letting it fade. We can’t build alternative learning about the meaning of the instrusions and the urge to do compulsions.
- It stops you from building courage and response prevention skills.
Many clients tell me they don’t believe they can face their fears or tolerate discomfort. Avoidance keeps these fears in place and prevents people from developing the courage needed to face thier fears. It also stops people from building thier skills in dropping and resisting the complusions.
- It shrinks your life
Avoidance may start small, like skipping certain TV shows or walking longer routes. But OCD will demand more and more, gradually taking away what brings you joy and meaning.
This is why the focus needs to be on giving you your life back, free from OCD avoidance.
5 Practical Steps to Overcome Avoidance in OCD
If you want to learn how to overcome avoidance, here are some actionable first steps:
- Start with your why-clarify your values to build strong motivation.
Who and what is important to you?
How would you prefer to be spending your time?
What would you be doing if you could ‘act as if’ this was an anxiety problem? - Get to know your OCD better with notice and naming skills (click here – coming soon).
The first step is being able to get really good at spotting the intrusive experiences without getting sucked into it.
Try to label them as they pop in using simple phrases
“here’s a harm thought” “I’m haing another what if” - Visualize how you’d prefer to respond if you get triggered.
Letting go of compulsions and avoidance can be challenging. Having a clear idea in mind of what you would like to do instead an help you in the moment. - Begin with challenges that aren’t direct triggers but align with your values and desire to live fully.
You don’t need to start with something that feels super difficult. Start with doing things you want or need to do and notice the urge to avoid becasuse ‘maybe I will get triggered”. For example, if you’re avoiding walking past schools and parks, “just in case I get a thought”. You may not start with going to feed the ducks! Begin with getting your pint of milk from the shop near the park instead of the one miles away. - Build a ‘challenge ladder’-gradually facing avoidance step-by-step with support.
When you feel comfortable with approaching some of the avoided things start to build a list of things that feel more challenging and are more likley to cause intrusions. Try to rank them in order of difficult and start with the easiest.
I want to acknowledge this is easier said than done. For many, facing avoidance triggers can be terrifying. That’s why therapy and support give you the skills and confidence for this work.
If you want some help to get started, download my free Quick Guide to ERP (coming soon).